Happy Anniversary 🤪🙄😂

17 years ago today I married my best friend I thought he was my soul mate he told me enough times we were. After 4 years together and 7 kids between us 1 together. I thought my life was complete. Living in a bubble miles from our familes. Sadly after 11 months it all went tits up. He wasn't my soul mate he sucked the soul right out of me and I still haven't found myself again. We were very close friends and he reeled me in at a vulnerable time. 16 yrs on my own and still married to him When's he's been engaged to someone else for years. I tried to divorce him twice 16 yrs ago so just left it up to him as I never intended to have a relationship again. My head belongs to me as fucked up as it is its mine and there's no room in it for anyone else apart from my children 

New grandson Noah-Jay

At 2.55pm on 25.06.2020 My Gorgeous 3rd grandchild Noah-Jay was born 2 weeks early weighing 5lb6 😊 he is absolutely tiny and just perfect ❤️❤️ Jay you would be so proud of your brother 💕💕💕

grief changes you

Grief changes you. It opens your eyes to everything around you. You actually see people a lot more clearly. Yes you become less patient more aggressive but that's only because of the idiocy that comes out of others mouths on times or because of selfish actions the lack of empathy and understanding people show. Your whole world as you knew it has been rewritten so your less inclined to filter your thoughts and feelings anymore. Your carrying a pain a wound that will never heal one that you have to adjust, adapt to so yes your tolerance for bullshit will evaporate. You have to pick and choose what's important and what's too soul sucking in life as part of your souls destroyed and you have yo preserve what's left of it ❤️