Most days i go through life in a daze im not living just existing. Carrying all this pain wears me down i used to be able to block it but now i have the excruciating pain and hole in my heart its impossible and the memories their like a film reel in my head that pop up at random times. Reading helps it imurses me into a different world. People i just avoid them completely its for the best for now as one i don't know when the tears will flow i can't control them and two I'm scared of who I'll bump into and how i will react! I've changed im not so laid back anymore i dont have any filter ( definitely my mothers daughter haha) losing my handsome boy opened my eyes to a lot. I should of been stronger i will be stronger . I just need to find a way to fix myself and learn to live withought him and with all the memories i supressed because obviously Walls don't fucking work they just make you weak.
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